Hugs are better than drugs and when treats learn to fly…Or just another day with a 5 year old...

So I’m sure you’re thinking, that’s a whole lot of randomness for one day. Well that about sums up my last 24 hours or so. I’ll start at the beginning. Last night around 7ish, thinking I was in the clear and my 5 year old, Denver, was snoozing, I snuck off to wash my face and tweeze my eyebrows. I came out of my bedroom about 20 minutes later and was surprised to see my stealthy little guy kicked back on the couch in front of the Millionaire Matchmaker. “Mom, I need to talk to you. Come really close. I had a really bad dream and it was about a girl at school who took drugs.” Ok, umm, you’re 5 and a half, how do you know about drugs? So I asked him what the drugs looked like and who took them. “Oh I don’t know mom, it wasn’t my school and there was just this boy who saw this other girl take them out of her backpack. But anyway, can I pleeease start out in your bed?” (This starting out in our bed seems to be the new phase every night.) Well the drug talk was not one that I was super prepared to have with my kindergartener so I gave him the basics; Drugs are very bad for you, it is like drinking poison from under the sink, they will make you very sick and they will make you crazy. Just say no to drugs, never ever take drugs and tell me or dad if anybody talks to you about drugs. Then for good measure I threw in the phrase that still haunts me from my childhood “hugs are better than drugs.” I can still hear my dad saying it to me every day before school, every night before bed and then as a teenager, every time I was heading to a party, work or a friend’s house. It obviously worked though because all these years later, it is still reverberating in my head. I’ll be sure to remind Denver of this on a daily basis now that “drugs” is a word that he knows. Please, please, please don’t let him come home tomorrow and ask me what sex is. That is a talk that I am most definitely not ready to have.

So sweet when they're sleeping

 

Moving on to this afternoon…I navigated the craziness that is the school car line (more about that later) and picked up my little guy from school. Everything was going fine. In fact, it was going great! I got a lollipop for Denver as a treat after school and after finishing more than half of it, he decided he was going to “save” it. The he pulled out his lunch box and brought out the cookies that he never ate at lunch. “Denver, you’re not having cookies and a lollipop before dinner” (too much sugar and he turns into Philip, the kid that Mike Myers played on SNL who is tied to the jungle gym and tempted with candy by Nicole Kidman).

My mother doesn't let me have sugar

 

Well hello Mr. Hyde! He refused to hand me the lollipop or the cookies. Now remember, I’m driving as this craziness ensues.

Me: Give me the Oreo’s Denver…

D: No! I want them!

Me: You better give them to me right now or else...

D: No way! I want them!

Me: You already had a lolly and you’re not having any other sweets before dinner.

D: Fine! (and then he threw them at me)

Well, here’s another little childhood flashback (throwback Thursday anyone?) that came full circle today…I took the Oreos and calmly threw them out the window. My most shining parenting moment? I think not. Well things really hit the fan after that. Some of the craziness that came out of his mouth after that included “I don’t like you...You’re a meanie...I don’t like you anymore” and so on. It's a good thing I have thick skin. Then he proceeded to throw his lunchbox and mittens at me (still driving!) Well, the mature parent that I am, I calmly replied with “I’ll show you how mean I can be” and I threw the lolly out the window too. Now I’m working with two counts of littering so I almost hate to admit these things online but cookies and candy are biodegradable…right?

So that was my day. How was yours?